I don't do much serious non-scholastic writing. Like a good aspiring writer, I have three novels in progress, all at varying stages of development. Anyway...most of the stuff here isn't serious. I like to think I'm funny...some people agree...
Obviously, I wrote these...so don't copy them without my permission.
- Another Modest Proposal - 12th grade AP English assignment in the style of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal. I wrote this with my friend Gray Marshall. Our plan was to "fix" society by imposing mass censorship.
- Combat Shopping - A joke article I wrote with my friend Dave Lackey for our school newspaper in 10th grade. It was the Christmas issue. We were both quite fond of it.
- Come Hither, Crackhemp - One of my "free topic" 10th grade English assignments. It makes fun of Yanni and various aspects of my school.
- Analysis of the Carpenter - We had to do a thesis-and-three on some aspect of the play Julius Caesar. I chose to analyze the Carpenter, a trivial character with only one line in the play. I got an 84. This paper is awful.
- Victor, Victoria - An assignment from 9th grade English where we had to write an alternate ending for Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.